


A Special Place in Heaven

by giraffeter



Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Soulmate Goose of Enforcement, Canon-typical language, F/F, Goose-typical violence, Soulmates, The Soulmate Goose, bi poly katy, bonnie mcmurray is a legit snack, geese are mean, that means lots of swears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22818166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giraffeter/pseuds/giraffeter
Summary: “No,” she told the goose firmly. It regarded her with one baleful, shiny black eye for a moment, then resumed pecking the glass. Katy slammed the curtains shut. She could hear an indignant “HONK” from outside. She crossed her arms and scowled.Katy waswaytoo old for this shit. She’d always assumed she was one of the 60% or so of the population who didn’t have a soulmate, and never had to deal with the accompanying goose, whichby the waywas supposed to be snow-white and covered in the softest down, not a bog-standard Canada goose with a mud-colored body and a serial killer’s temperament.Anyway, she wasnotmeeting her soulmate today, she didn’t believe in soulmates anyway, she was polyamorous and ought to by all rights be exempt. It was probably just a regular goose that got lost on its way to shit all over the golf course.~*~Katy's hangover is made all the worse by the sudden appearance of the Soulmate Goose.
Relationships: Katy (Letterkenny)/Bonnie McMurray
Comments: 36
Kudos: 149





	A Special Place in Heaven

Spring came to Letterkenny in dribs and drabs, the thaw to the melt to the mud to the dirt under a gray sky, until finally the sun broke through and the puddles dried up and the entire town lost their goddamn minds. Friday night of the first really warm weekend of spring, and MoD3an’s was a sea of sundresses and t-shirts, even though the temps were closer to 18 than to 25. Katy was glad that Letterkenny, once again, had a real bar. Nothing against the Ukranian Cultural Center, but it’s hard to get your hussy on in a brightly lit multi-purpose room full of grandparents playing Bingo.

“Katy, have a shot?” Wayne asked, bellying up to the bar next to her.

“I’d have a shot,” she replied.

“Darry, have a shot?”

“I’d have a shot,” Darry said. He was still wearing his barn clothes, and Katy was looking forward to burying her nose in a shot of Gus’n’Bru to block the extreme odor of cow shit coming off him.

“Dan, have a shot?”

“I’d have a shot,” Squirrely Dan allowed.

“Four shots of Gus’n’Bru, Gail, please and thank you, and pour one for yourself as well,” Wayne said, sliding some cash across the bar to Gail.

Gail sloshed Gus’n’Bru into five shot glasses. “I’ll join you, Wayne. This old goat’s on the prowl tonight. Gotta get lubed up before taking down these young dogs. Baseball spring training’s started up, and that means horny young bucks out after curfew. This place is gonna have more pole than a cross-country ski meet.”

Squirrely Dan and Darry exchanged a look as they knocked back their shots, which crawled right under Katy’s skin for some reason. So what if Gailer was making a play for the younger set tonight; plenty of baseball dick to go around and Katy’d never been one to judge a gal for shooting her shot.

“Of course, out-of-town pole can’t compare to local talent,” Gail continued with a wild gyration of her hips. “Whaddaya say, Wayne, want to show me what’s in your pockets?”

Wayne stared down at the bar as though it was the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen. “No thank you.”

“C’mon, Wayne, I’ll give you the five-finger discount.” Gail made a lewd gesture to illustrate her point.

“Darry, have a dart?” Wayne asked, holding out the pack.

“I’d have a dart,” Darry said, and the two of them booked out the door like their tails were on fire. Gail rolled her eyes and sauntered off. 

With a gesture borne more of habit than anything else, Katy smoothed her hair back behind one ear, surreptitiously scoping the bar out as she did so. Gailer was right - plenty of baseball tasty in the bar tonight. She was quite sure she could cross and recross her legs and have a half-dozen batters trying to knock a deep one right up the middle, but she wasn’t in the mood to be shagging fly balls tonight. Too much work trying to convince most jocks to stay on base when they all wanted to go for the squeeze play.

“Hey, Katy-Cat,” she heard over her shoulder. Reilly and Jonesy were still in their muscle shirts and board shorts — apparently _nobody_ in this town got changed before coming to the bar — and their cheeks were pink with sun and beer.

“Evening, boys,” she purred. Bygones were bygones, and she liked Reilly and Jonesy, even if she was less in need of an adoring flock to dote on her and drive her places these days. A girl has to grow up sometime.

“You’re looking pretty tonight, Katy-Cat,” Reilly grinned.

“A real sniper,” Jonesy added.

“A real Wesley Snipes.”

“A real snipewriter.”

“You’re just my snipe.”

“I’d snipe right on you”

“Nice one, bro.” They bumped fists.

Katy rolled her eyes. “What’ve yous been up to?”

“Crushing sandos.”

“Crushing brewskis.”

“Crushing dumbbell bench press reps.”

“Crushing standing box jump reps.”

“Crushing standing row tri extension reps.”

“Crushing drop-set skull crusher reps.”

“Crushing sandos, crushing brewskis, crushing reps, ferda.” Another fist bump, this one with a finger-waggling “blow it up” gesture at the end.

Before she could think of an appropriately cutting rejoinder, Wayne stomped up, Darry trailing behind him like a fucking shadow as always. “Hockey players.”

“Hi Wayne,” Reilly and Jonesy faltered.

“You’re in my spot,” Wayne said, his face impassive.

“Hey Wayne, you should come down to the gym sometime,” Reilly ventured. “We can get you set up with a real sweet Crossfit package.”

“Gotta be keeping it tight for the ladies,” Jonesy added.

“I don’t give a crossfart,” Wayne snarked. “Now get the crossfuck out of my spot before I crossfight the both of you.”

“Better crossflee, you crossfruits,” Darry said, a step behind him.

“How’d you like a crossfist to your crossface, you crossfailures?”

“Coulda just said no, buddy,” Jonesy muttered.

“What the fuck are you wearing, bud?” Wayne continued, as though Jonesy hadn’t spoken. “Did your mum sew a nametag in the back of that singlet before she let you wear it to summer camp?”

Darry snorted. “Did you get your mum to put a Big Turk in your lunchbox before she sent you out the door this morning, chief?”

“Get fucked, the both of yous. You look like if I was to touch you, yous’d be greasy, and you’re still. In. My. Spot,” Wayne growled, squaring his shoulders slightly.

“Bye, Katy-Cat,” Reilly mumbled as the two beat a hasty retreat.

“Go bother someone else’s sister, you yogurt cups,” Wayne tossed over his shoulder, settling back onto the barstool.

“You don’t have to be so mean to them,” Katy admonished him.

“Mean to ‘em?” Wayne snorted. “You wanna know what? Those hockey players have been begging for an ass-kicking for years, and I’ve never so much as given ’em a good smack, which would serve ‘em right. Mean to ‘em? The only reason nobody’s pounded either of those Sallys to a pulp by now is that the both of ‘em are too dumb to find a needle in a stack of nothing but needles. Maybe I _should_ give them a proper scrap, do everyone a favor and stop those two running around town like a couple of squirrels trapped in a garden shed, fuck.”

“All right, no reason to get excited,” Katy murmured, swigging her beer.

The door to the kitchen banged open. “Ooooooh,” Squirrely Dan breathed, and Katy and Darry both whipped their heads around to see what he was looking at. “ _Bonnie McMurray._ ”

Bonnie was carrying a tray of beers balanced carefully in both hands. Gail had clearly ordered the staff to change over to their spring uniforms; Bonnie’s pleated black skirt had a fair bit of flirt in it, and she’d obviously been taking advantage of the early spring sunshine, since her long legs were smooth and tan and gleaming. Her scoop-necked MoD3ean’s top showed off a fetching display of cleavage. Katy felt a pang as though seeing two sweet and cherished friends who’d been away all winter. 

Ever the conscientious barmaid, Bonnie distributed her tray of beers before coming over to greet the four of them.

“Hi Wayne,” she sang, showcasing a full array of dimples and gleaming white teeth. Fine, so she was really just coming over to greet the one of them.

Wayne treated her to a paternal smile. “Bonnie, how’re you now?”

“Good, and you?” she replied, twisting a lock of shiny brown hair around her finger, somehow oblivious to the fact that Darry and Squirrely Dan were gaping open-mouthed at her right next to Wayne.

“Not s’bad,” Wayne said.

“Get you another round?” Bonnie asked.

“Please and thank you.” Wayne didn’t even bother watching Bonnie walk away, because he was a Philistine with no appreciation of the finer things in life. “Nice girl,” he said approvingly.

“Oh, lovely girl,” Dan agreed. Darry was still too stunned to speak.

Katy felt a flash of irritation. Bonnie McMurray had been pining after Wayne since grade four, and he’d never given her so much as the time of day. Bonnie seemed to think that sooner or later, Wayne would come to recognize and appreciate her wholesome girl-next-door charms; it was a trap a lot of Letterkenny girls had fallen into over the years, trying to tempt Katy’s hard-headed older brother with homemade pies and tender smiles, never realizing that Wayne was more likely to go for a girl who started a country brawl than one who longed for a country dance. Wayne, for his part, seemed to have no idea that the girl that half of Letterkenny would give their right eye to touch was sweet on him; he saw her as a little sister figure, which, as Wayne’s _actual_ little sister, just bugged Katy more. _Figure it out,_ she thought sourly, not sure if she meant Bonnie or Wayne.

When the comely Bonnie set another beer in front of her, Katy downed half of it in one go. Another night, the same town, the same people, none of them getting any younger. What was a girl to do besides get good and stinking drunk?

~*~

“HONK.”

Katy cracked an eye and was immediately hit with a sunbeam streaming through the curtain and directly into her brain. She squeezed her eyes shut again and groaned. Her head was throbbing; her teeth felt like they were wearing little individual mohair sweaters. The end of last night was a blur, but she vaguely recalled doing several more shots, yelling at Darry about something, and stumbling up the stairs. She pulled the covers up over her eyes. Wayne was probably already getting to choring, but the very thought of getting up made her stomach churn. Best to sleep it off for another hour or two.

_“HONK!_ ”

She opened her eyes again. There was some sort of fucking bird outside. She sat up, wincing as a bolt of pain lanced through her head, swung unsteady legs out of bed and tottered to the window, intending to yell at the offending avian and scare it off. She threw open the curtains.

“Jesus _fuck_!”

There was an absolutely enormous Canada goose directly outside her window, flapping and rustling and somehow _hovering_ right there (could geese _hover?_ ). It saw her and pecked the glass with an impatient _tap tap tap._

Oh fuck, no. No no no no no. “ _No,_ ” she told the goose firmly. It regarded her with one baleful, shiny black eye for a moment, then resumed pecking the glass. Katy slammed the curtains shut. She could hear an indignant “HONK” from outside. She crossed her arms and scowled. 

She’d seen a few soulmate geese in her lifetime, of course — no one in Letterkenny will forget the day the goose led McMurray out of the Ag Hall, only for him to return a week later with Mrs. McMurray wrapped around him like a gin-soaked koala bear — but Katy was _way_ too old for this shit. She’d always assumed she was one of the 60% or so of the population who didn’t have a soulmate, and never had to deal with the accompanying goose, which _by the way_ was supposed to be snow-white and covered in the softest down, not a bog-standard Canada goose with a mud-colored body and a serial killer’s temperament. 

Anyway, she was _not_ meeting her soulmate today, she didn’t believe in soulmates anyway, she was polyamorous and ought to by all rights be exempt. It was probably just a regular goose that got lost on its way to shit all over the golf course.

The tapping intensified. “NO!” she yelled at the window, then stomped downstairs.

Wayne, Darry, and Squirrely Dan were all at the table, eating breakfast, as though Dan and Darry didn’t have perfectly good homes of their own to eat breakfast in. “Morning, Katy,” Darry said around a mouthful of yogurt.

“Go home, Darry,” Katy snapped, getting out the bread. Some toast would be just the thing to settle her roiling stomach.

“What’s the matter, Katy?” Wayne asked. “Got a touch of the Gus’n’Bru flu?”

“Bugger off,” she muttered.

“I tell ya,” Wayne said cheerfully, fresh as a daisy, like he hadn’t also been five sheets to the wind the night before, the fucking bastard, “I heard some bird making such a racket this morning.”

Squirrely Dan nodded. “I heard a bit of a rackets myself, as I was comin’ up the laneways.”

“Did _you_ hear anything, Katy?” Darry asked sweetly. She glowered at him. “Only, maybe you should go outside and see what it is.” He was practically choking on his mirth now. “Maybe go out and take a _gander._ ”

The three of them roared with laughter, Katy’s death stare apparently having no effect whatsoever.

“If you was a movies, you’d be Every Which Ways but Goose,” Dan chortled.

“If you was a musician, you’d be Goose Springsteen,” Wayne grinned.

“If you was a Kenny Loggins song, you’d be Footgoose,” Darry snickered.

“If you was a cookbooks, you’d be LaGoose Gastronomique.”

“Looks like you’ve got a new geese on life.”

“Looks like something’s got your gander up.”

“Looks like your plans for the day are really flying south.”

Katy opened her mouth to say something scathing, but at that moment, the goose came running up to the back door and, spotting her, started banging its feathery body against the screen with all its might. Under the table, Gus whined and set his head on Wayne’s knee.

“Looks like your goose is cooked,” Wayne called over a fresh round of honks from the winged menace. “Seriously, Katy, you need to handle that thing. It’s scarin’ the dogs.”

“I don’t believe in soulmates!” she protested.

“No sense dilly-dallying around,” Wayne admonished her. “Now, the goose is here, and you and I both know it’s not leavin’ till it gets what it’s come for. Pitter patter.”

“Uggggghhhhh,” Katy groaned, but stomped upstairs to get ready.

Back in her bedroom, she confronted her closet. What exactly does someone wear to meet their soulmate? It should be cute, but not trying too hard —

_Tap. Taptaptaptaptap._ The goose was outside her window again. 

“I’ll be out in a minute,” she called to it, “I just need to —”

_TaptaptaptapBANGBANGBANG._ At this rate, the thing was going to break the window, or its beaky little head, and either way Katy was going to have to clean up the mess. She opened the window. “I’ll be right there,” she told it, “I just need to get dressed.”

The bird regarded her for a moment, then reared back and plunged through the screen.

Twenty minutes later, Katy was barricaded in the bathroom, dressed in the only clothing she’d been able to grab while the goose chased her around her bedroom: shorts and a black tank top, which was at least clean. She was bleeding from a gouge to her left leg. She shakily applied some mascara and brushed her teeth, trying to tune out the sound of the goose battering itself against the bathroom door. She looked at her reflection, which was pale and haggard, dark circles under her eyes, her hair a (ha _ha_ ) bird’s nest. _Not_ the look she’d be hoping to rock when she met her so-called soulmate. Grimly, she started picking out the tangles, wondering if the goose would let her take a shower.

The banging gradually subsided. Maybe the evil creature had finally tuckered itself out. Maybe it would take a nap, and Katy could at least shave her legs or something. She attacked her hair with renewed vigor.

_Click_.

_Rustle rustle_.

Katy glanced over to keep a wary eye on the door. The knob rattled. Surely a goose couldn’t turn the knob, though. They didn’t even have thumbs.

_Click._ She watched in horror as the knob slowly turned. The door swung inward.

“HonkhonkhonkhonkHONK!”

By the time Katy hit the front door at a full run, barefoot, sneakers desperately clutched in one hand, the multiple goose bites on her arms and legs were already swelling up. She could feel a nasty bruise developing on her right knee where she’d taken a tumble coming down the stairs. Every time she tried to pause to put on her shoes, the goose advanced on her with a terrible spread of its wings, hissing. She heard the screen door bang behind her.

“What’s the fuss?” Wayne asked.

“This thing — _ow_ — tries to bite me every time I stop moving,” Katy said between gritted teeth, hobbling down the lawn. “I’m not _walking_ all the way to town _barefoot_ ,” she hissed at the goose, who hissed back and kept herding her toward the laneway. 

Wayne shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’ll give you a ride into town.”

“You will?”

“Someone asks for help, you help ‘em,” Wayne shrugged. “Besides, I got errands to run. That thing better not shit in my truck, though.”

The goose _did_ shit in Wayne’s truck, several times, but it also seemed content to allow Wayne to give them a ride as long as Katy rode in the back with it, so it could peck her irritably to signal when they were going the wrong direction.

Wayne pulled to a stop in front of the feed store. Katy quickly hopped out before the nightmare bird could harry her out. “Lemme know if yous need a ride back,” Wayne called after her as the goose began to herd her down the street.

“Kay,” she called back. 

She tried to put a little pride in her step as she walked down the street, a little confidence. _Yes_ , she wanted to say to the passers-by who smirked and pointed at her, _I am having a Goose Day. Yes, I am too old for this shit. Yes, I am being escorted through town by a murderous waterfowl, and I still look better’n’you doing it._

The idea of having a soulmate was terrifying. It was enormous. In the last year or so, she’d started thinking that she was maybe, finally, ready for a more serious relationship; maybe this summer wouldn’t just be another Hot Girl Summer, maybe she could meet someone, or multiple someones, start building something real. But a _soulmate_ , that was some like, _forever_ shit. That was light years away from where Katy was now, or where she’d thought she’d ever end up, if she was honest with herself. It was kind of a relief that this psychotic bird was beating the shit out of her, because otherwise she would be losing her nut right about now.

“HONK,” the goose said. It slapped her with one wing to indicate that she should turn left. It was herding her toward — oh God — the dollar store.

The skids were, as usual, fucking around in the parking lot, doing rips and dancing terribly to bad EDM. Stuart looked up at her as they approached, and when their eyes locked Katy felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. She saw Stuart’s eyes darting around, taking in the goose, Katy’s disheveled state, pausing for a leisurely moment on her tits, the fucking degen. “ _Transcendent_ ,” he breathed.

OK, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, being soulmates with a skid, Stuart could be kind of sweet when he wanted to be, and she’d certainly shaped up sadder sad sacks in her day, plus she’d finally get to find out if his horn was really as big as everyone said it was —

_Smack_. The goose whipped its head around and slapped her with it, hustling her past the parking lot. _Thank fuck,_ Katy thought as the sound of shitty electronic noise faded away behind them.

The goose hustled her through town, past the church and the chip truck and the bowling alley with no sign of slowing down. She had a bad moment when she saw Coach shouting at a goose outside the hockey rink, but it turned out he was just pissed that geese had been shitting all over the grass outside the arena. There was a drainage pond right there, so she wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but _her_ goose didn’t even ruffle a feather, so intent was it on harassing her down the street.

She was starting to wonder, with a mounting sense of dread, whether the soulmate her goose was taking her to see might be in another town, or even another _province_. She’d heard of soulmate geese leading people right to the airport to get on a plane; it was certainly possible that this goose was going to herd her all the way up to the city to meet some big-city soulmate. Wayne would be pissed.

In front of MoD3an’s, the goose abruptly shoved her off the sidewalk. Katy did some quick mental gymnastics to figure out whether or not Gail would let her come in the bar with a goose (verdict: probably), but it didn’t go in the front door. It actually took the lead for the first time, waddling excitedly ahead of her around toward the back of the building, glancing back to make sure she was following. Its webbed black feet made a little _pat-a-pat_ sound on the packed dirt of the parking lot.

Katy followed. She wasn’t about to complain about the respite from being pecked, bitten, and smacked around. The goose ducked around the side of the building, where the dumpsters were just starting to get a bit ripe in the spring sunshine, and there, slinging a bag of trash into the bin, was Katy’s soulmate.

Oh.

_Oh._

_Bonnie McMurray._

Her ponytail burst like a waterfall from the crown of her head, falling in shining waves past her shoulders. Her legs were long and toned, her feet in cute-but-comfy white runners. Her stretch up to toss the trash in the bin had revealed a creamy crescent of her pale, flat stomach. She turned and jumped a little, surprised to see Katy standing behind her.

Katy quailed under Bonnie’s soft brown eyes. She was suddenly, agonizingly aware of the bloody scratches on her legs, the dark circles under her eyes, her unkempt hair, the stench of garbage in the air. Bonnie gleamed like an opal in the spring sunshine. The goose, seeming inordinately pleased with itself, waggled its tail feathers and made a small “hmnk” sound.

“Oh...hi Katy,” Bonnie said after several eternities.

“Bonnie,” Katy gasped. 

They stared at each other.

“H...how’re you now?” Katy ventured.

“Good, and you?”

Katy gestured helplessly at the goose, which was blinking amiably at them, as though it had not spent the last hour bludgeoning Katy through town.

Bonnie sighed, putting her hands on her hips. “Let me just...tell Gail I’m leaving early, OK?”

They walked back to the McMurray house together, awkwardly chatting about this and that, mostly trying to ignore the goose trailing after them. Periodically, Katy would sneak a glance back at their web-footed shadow; every time, it gave her a look like _well?_

_Be cool, goose_ , she thought.

Bonnie’s brother and his wife were in the front yard, lounging in lawn chairs in their underwear, enjoying the sunshine with a pitcher of G&Ts.

“Oh my God, is that a Canada goose?” Mrs. McMurray slurred delightedly. “Did yous adopt a Canada goose?”

“Those cocksuckers are some of nature’s most beautiful animals,” a red-faced McMurray added.

“There’s a special place in heaven for animal lovers, that’s all I know.” Mrs. McMurray now seemed close to tears.

McMurray waved his cup “Katy, get your mouth around one of these G&Ts.”

“Uh…” Katy glanced at her soulmate.

“No thanks,” Bonnie said quickly. “We’re gonna...we’ll be downstairs.”

The goose obediently trailed them down into the basement, and after some confused flapping, seemed content to settle itself into the hot tub.

“So…” Katy ventured.

Bonnie’s eyes flew up to hers, then just as quickly flew away. “Let’s...get you cleaned up.”

Katy perched on the side of the hot tub. She let Bonnie clean her scrapes and scratches, trying not to swoon at the soft touch of Bonnie’s fingers applying antibiotic ointment. Through a truly heroic effort, she did not look down Bonnie’s shirt, because Bonnie was her soulmate now, and Katy was going to do this thing right.

_My soulmate_ , Katy thought while Bonnie went in search of a hairbrush for her. Bonnie McMurray, who was pretty and sweet and just a little wild; Bonnie McMurray, who had held her own in Letterkenny without it making her bitter or coarse; Bonnie McMurray, who was maybe the only person in the world, besides Wayne, who really understood where Katy _came from_. Suddenly having a soulmate didn’t seem so terrifying. Bonnie Mc-fuckin’-Murray, her goddamn motherfucking _soulmate, hell yes._

Bonnie returned, wielding a hairbrush and a bottle of Gus’n’Bru. Katy’s stomach gave a halfhearted lurch; she wasn’t sure she was ready for the hair of this particular dog, but maybe the “hi, the goose that is currently befouling your brother’s hot tub brought me here to be your soulmate forever” conversation wasn’t the kind of thing they should do sober. Bonnie took a big, nervous gulp of whiskey and hopped up to sit on the side of the hot tub next to Katy. The goose started preening its oily feathers, bobbing up and down behind them.

“So —” they both said at the same time. Katy accepted the bottle from Bonnie and took a long pull. “Go ahead,” she said.

Bonnie sighed. “The thing is,” she said. “I don’t know if I’m...ready. For this.”

“Me either,” Katy agreed, passing the bottle back to her.

“I didn’t really think I would be someone who, uh...got. A goose.”

“Me either.”

“I don’t even really know if I _want_ to be in a relationship, like, exclusively,” Bonnie admitted.

Katy couldn’t stop the smile from breaking over her face. “Me either.”

An answering smile was starting to dance at the corners of Bonnie’s perfect mouth. “Really?” She handed the Gus’n’Bru back to Katy. The bottle’s opening was still warm and wet from her lips when Katy drank.

“Yeah,” Katy said. “It’s...a lot.”

“So…” Bonnie nodded at the goose, which had pulled a towel off of the rack next to the hot tub and was pulling it apart into threads with its wicked-looking beak. “What do we do?”

Katy took another pull of whiskey. “Well, there’s nothing that says you have to get serious right away with your...you know,” she said. Somehow she couldn’t quite make herself say _soulmate_ directly into Bonnie’s doe-like eyes. “Or even be monogamous at all, if that’s not your thing.”

“That’s true. My brother and his wife are soulmates, and they’re...uh...definitely not monogamous. Or subtle about it. God, they’re so gross,” Bonnie said, covering her eyes.

“We don’t have to be gross about it.” Summoning all of her considerable daring, Katy scooted closer to Bonnie, so their arms were touching. Bonnie didn’t move away. “We could just...take things slow. See how it goes.”

“Would that be...OK?” Bonnie asked, leaning into her a little.

“Anything you want,” Katy said, surprising herself by how true those words suddenly were. _Anything you want, Bonnie_. “I’m not inclined to let some magic bird tell me how to live my life. Doing what I’m told is not my forte.”

Bonnie knocked her bare knee against Katy’s. “I always liked that about you.” She glanced up, fully meeting Katy’s eyes for the first time. She smelled like whiskey and sunscreen and mint chapstick.

Katy was too far gone to even try to be cool. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” Bonnie said, starting to laugh. After a moment, Katy joined in. Here she was, in McMurray’s creepy hot tub basement, just her and her soulmate and an aquatic nightmare bird, the height of romance.

They looked at each other, laughing, and Katy found she couldn’t wait another goddamn second. “Come here,” she breathed, wrapping her arms around Bonnie’s neck, Bonnie laughing into her mouth, her lips warm and sweet and soft.

The goose made a last satisfied clucking sound and vanished with a soft _pop_ , leaving nothing but a few mud-colored feathers and a mutilated bath towel behind.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea banging around in my head ever since I saw the ep where they save the Canada gooses. Katy/Bonnie are endgame in my book.
> 
> Thanks to Demma and Duessa for beta-ing! If you like this I hope you'll let me know in the comments!


End file.
